Tuesday, July 14, 2009

The Devil's Advocate

In Russia when communist government declared that there will be nothing as Private Property and everything will be run by the government, they did point out that everything literally cannot be run by the government and there will be few a exceptions.

When someone asked like what? The first example they could think of was Restaurants.

Though running restaurants isn’t the world’s oldest profession but they have been there since time immemorial. They satisfy one of the man’s most basic needs – ‘Hunger’.

And here are the reasons why Restaurant business has really proliferated –

  • You live alone and you can’t cook for yourself so whenever you feel hungry you head out to a Restaurant.
  • You live alone and are tired of cooking for yourself so you head out to a Restaurant.
  • You don’t live alone but you are you are bored of your wife’s food so you head out to a Restaurant.
  • Or perhaps your wife is bored of cooking for you so she sends you out to a Restaurant so she can take a break.
  • It can be that you are happily married and like your wife’s food very much and even she likes to cook for you but either you or her are out of town and you can’t stay without something as basic
  • as food so you go to a Restaurant till she comes back. This is much more comfortable than going to your neighbour’s house.
  • Or perhaps your friends dropped in and your wife cannot cook for everyone so you order from a Restaurant.
  • Maybe she is too tired to cook for you tonight so you order from a Restaurant.
  • Or it’s your birthday and you want to treat your friends so you take them to a Restaurant.
  • Or perhaps it’s your anniversary and you want to treat your wife so you take her to a Restaurant.
  • It could be possible that a hot new Thai restaurant opened in your city and you want to experience Thai food. You can never know it’s good or bad without tasting it.
  • And it last it can be possible that your wife cooks very well and you like it very much and she’s ready to cook whenever you want to eat but she won’t cook non veg as she thinks it’s too filthy so whenever you feel like it you have to go to a Restaurant.

Now replace ‘food’ with ‘sex’, ‘Restaurant’ with ‘Prostitutes’, ‘cooking’ with ‘Fucking’, and make a few more appropriate changes. Then you’ll realize that why I think Prostitution should be legalized :-P
And that is the world’s oldest profession!

There are a million other reasons why it should be legalized, to save the prostitutes from the abuse of client and pimps, to promote safe sex, to increase the government’s tax kitty by legalizing the transaction etc etc... But I thought I’ll put down the most basic and (not so) common-sensical one.

P.S. - In common parlance, a devil's advocate is someone who takes a position he or she disagrees with for the sake of argument. This process can be used to test the quality of the original argument and identify weaknesses in its structure.

During the canonization process of the Roman Catholic Church the Devil's Advocate, is a canon lawyer appointed by Church authorities to argue against the canonization of the candidate. It served a useful role in ensuring that canonizations did not proceed without due care and hence the status of sainthood was not easily achieved.

Monday, July 6, 2009

Ten Commandments for a Road Trip

Thou shalt not believe your friends when they say the place is only 4 hours away. It always turns out to be more. For a good estimate always multiply the said time by 1.5.

Thou shalt not agree to ride pillion. Especially on a Pulsar 180. Otherwise you will soon be wishing for an ASS replacement surgery.

Thou shalt not listen when you friends say we will stop at the next Dhaba/Shop. They will always say that at the last Dhaba/Shop for the next one hour.

Thou shalt not carry a huge bag. You will end up carrying unnecessary stuff, what’s really needed you are going to forget anyway.

Thou shalt not stop at the FAMOUS Dhabas on the way. They will serve ordinary food, charge astronomical prices and will have Fat Aunties with their Fat Kids asking for Mineral Water and an A.C Section.

Thou shalt not calculate the remaining time by dividing the distance by your current speed. No matter what’s your top speed is the Indian Roads and Traffic will limit your Average Speed to 60.

Thou shalt not try to overtake a Speeding Haryana Roadways. There is no surer way to death, or atleast permanent disability.

Thou shalt always drive with a High Beam. So the other Idiots who are doing this in the opposite lane get a taste of their own medicine.

Thou shalt not take a road trip in a car with its windows rolled up. Then you are not part of the Frame. Anything you see out of your window is more T.V.

Thou shalt take a road trip. Only then you can truly understand the meaning of the word FREE !