Save for the rainy day. Wait for the storm when it arrives. Study hard in school to get a good college. Study hard in college to get a good job. Work hard at your job to retire early. Take consultancy work post retirement so you can get out of home. Network rather than making friends. Be happy when your bank statement arrives in the mail. Forget that your son also had sent a Father’s day card. Instruct your parents to only call on Sundays at 9:00 PM. Hedge your risks. Google raison d’être when someone mentions it to you.
Buy the latest iPhone from the money you have saved for the trip to your sister’s. Use the word consumer when you meant people. Give up your dreams; get that 7 figure salary job. Buy a glass case for your guitar. Remember more misery equals more money. Get a silk upholstered couch, have no friends to call over. Remind your sub-ordinates how many Diwalis have you missed because of work. Fire them when you realize your life hasn’t amounted to much. Have a firm hand shake, forget hugs. Regret the things you didn’t do rather than the things you did.
Stay at home to save for holidays. Have weekend excursions to revitalize; complain how tired you are in office after them. Look at old pictures and sigh. Get a face lift to look like that again. Ask your brother in law if his apartment building has 100% power backup. Worry about arriving rather than travelling. Work till late to buy automatic washing machines and dishwashers. Be glad about how much time they save. Place your
passions on a fucking cricket team that never wins. Break your 55 inch LED when they lose.
Work abroad to buy a house here. Wake up every day to pay EMIs. Wait for your ship to come in, wait for a bigger one when it does. Laugh at youth’s dreams; silently cry in the night because you had them too. Boast about your car; get irritated when 200 BHPs cannot get you back in time for your kid’s birthday. Buy expensive gifts for them; hate them when they don’t like it. Blast them about drinking; take a valium to calm your nerves afterwards. Keep your lawyer’s number handy.
Look before you leap. Don’t keep all your eggs in one basket. Laugh controllably, keep away from dance floors. Think about tomorrow’s big presentation while making love. Don’t step out in the sun without wearing sunscreen. Count calories to make sure you don’t go above 2500. Budget your entertainment expenses. Listen to elder, respect them just for being born earlier. See the weather report before planning a vacation. Take holiday packages; remember to get your medicine box along. Don’t talk to strangers. Always carry an umbrella.
Check email regularly, keep your status as Busy. Promise to call later. Control your emotions. Reprimand your wife for crying just because you insulted her in front of her friends. Set reminders for dental checkup. Get drunk to forget than to remember. Wake up disillusioned. Wonder who the fuck you are on Sunday mornings. Get high end gym subscriptions. Tell your son you are too tired to play with him afterwards. Save the appreciation mails, delete the birthday wishes. Drink your 18 year old scotch alone. Don't marry the girl you love.
Fight for corner offices. Include your designation in your signature. Update your business card as soon as it changes. Follow the 7 habits. Get your kids self-help books as birthday presents. Plan your exit strategy. Don’t sprint; try to go slow and steady. Laugh inwardly at your classmates planning a trip just before exams. Look back and wonder why you don’t have a single photo of college time. Be happy that you have 3 bedrooms when you bring home your mistress. Of course you wouldn’t do it on your wife’s bed. Try to justify it to yourself. Fail. Carry-on to boast about it nevertheless.
Snap at the waiter at your 10th anniversary for bringing the cake late. Honk and swear at red lights. Order in rather than go out. Get ready to eat. Download the movies. See documentaries about Egypt. Make a point to always get extra virgin olive oil. Drink diet cokes. See smiling as a sign of being non-serious. Crib about your shit job as pillow talk; interrupt it to make sure you have the 5:30 alarm. Get a pre-nuptial.
Watch your baby's first steps on video. Get mad at your wife when you can't get it up. Take a house with a view. Put heavy curtains on the windows. Snarl at your unambitious co-worker who gave the onsite opportunity just because his wife was pregnant. Pay your fair share. Calculate other’s so they pay theirs. Tell everyone every day that it's a race. Get angry when someone asks where is the finish line. Lament you didn’t tell that girl in college how you felt. Chase girls who are 25 to make up for it now.
Ignore the pun when somebody calls you the Schrodinger’s cat. Move with the cheese. Blame the government. Watch debates on the TV. Wear earphones. Roll up your windows. Invest in a retirement home. Get mad at your daughter for not brushing after eating her birthday cake. Mention surfing the net as your hobby. Track the stock market. Get repulsed by pets. Suffer Insomnia on your 400 thread count bed linen. Don’t participate, Make fun from the sidelines. Write MMHROTD on wishes. Don't smell the earth. But save for the rainy day.