Saturday, February 16, 2008

Deharadun Trip : Aftermath




Apart from all the fun and games and all the adventure I realized a few things on this trip.

I won't call this trip an eye opener but ya lots of things made me wonder.

I saw how the world around me has changed. The people around me has changed. All the 4 people around me were from business families who had already joined their dad's businesses. I was alone from a service class and only one without a job.

My friends have become nearly proper businessmen. One was constantly on the phone taking orders, giving orders, trying to strike deals. One brought his laptop along. Other two had made arrangements so that they won't be disturbed while they are here. They were all on tight schedules. Money was no longer an issue. time was. Everybody was throwing money here and there , the one thing we were short of in college. That to save time . what we had in plenty of in college. We rented taxis, paid tips, bought tickets like money was no issue.

And everybody wanted to have as much fun as possible in this time. Money no bar. Sort of as a return on time invested. They all knew soon they will be back home soon. And two were worried they might get married soon.

All of them were in the habit of waking up early. I was the only one still student like, and who has a student life in future again.

Ankur was fair in his dealings. Gave money without asking. And never asked for it. He tried to play the host . And you have to give it to him that he tried.

They all were talking business many times. Lion even brought a business plan to put up a bio-diesel plant in Dehradun to Cheetoz .And I felt left out in that way many times

'Ab hum log launde nahi rahe'.

We were thinking about our growing bellies all the time. Nobody except me was ready to walk even a little. People wanted heaters, bellboys, showers at the hotel. Whatever happened to guys who could sleep on floors ??

Everybody needed permission to go anywhere. But not for spending money.

Everybody felt some weight of responsibility on his shoulders. We were answerable to someone, if it was us only. We were not that carefree college kids anymore.

The more we tried to go back to our good old days, the more we couldn't and the more we missed it. Something inside us had died. Though we were not oldies in any sense, or middle aged, but we longer had that fire, that vigor in us.

And nobody of us could drink like we used to.

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Dehradun trip - 3

Day 4 -


But when we get up at 12, we realize that everyone left and we are left there . Very good.

So we take a taxi and haul ourselves back to Dehradun.

We reach his house at around 1:30 and wake him up.

I ask him how is he feeling. Now that he is a married man and all. He says something about how he felt that his life has changed when he was sitting in the Mandap and the Pandit was reciting the Mantras. He felt something different. Well his life surely has changed.

We do time pass for sometime. Its freezing in the house too.

Global Warming my ass !

Then we go back to the hotel. Baccha arrives just as we reach the hotel. He complains why we didn't call him till now. Well we explain him and say that we''ll get ready and meet him in a few hours.
We get ready. But Anmol is reclusive about coming with us. So I and Lion leave him and go about in the Market with Baccha. We pick up Moksh along the way.

We see a hot girl entering a medical store. Bachha screeches the Safari to a halt. Moksh runs after her towards the store. And stammers from there " Bh..bh..bhaai wo bukhaar waali dawaai ka n.n.n.naam kya tha ??"
"Crocin maang le"

Another friend of Baacha Moksh arrives ( a white safari). He too has seen the girl. Acts smart.
Utters something about "Excuse me I think have seen you before"
"No I don't think so"
Ba-ha ha ha ha.... End of story.

We realize that Dehradun is not too different from Kota.

We start drinking. Or rather its only me. Moksh has like, 30 ml. We get down as Lion has to buy biscuits and Rusk to take back to baroda. He bloody buys stuff worth 2500 bucks. Apparently he had a empty bag with him for this thing only. Man is he a foodie or what ?

We reach Baccha and Moksh's gym. Till now I'm nearly half a bottle down. And drunk. They get in while I and Lion get down and start wandering on the roads of Dehradun. Sort of a 'High on the Highway' thing.
After sometime these people get done from the gym. We head back to the hotel.

Its the reception today, we get ready and head to the reception. Baccha and Moksh come and leave early. We say our goodbyes. And they leave.

We (Me, Lion, Mr E and Gupta) have planned to give him 10,000 cash now. And the best thing is we don't even have an envelope. So we give him 10,000 cash in hand. He asks Preeti to take the money from us. As the dude had dropped 7000 from his pocket yesterday which he was supposed to give for returning his Jutiyan. Well birds of a feather.....

Well time to take leave from him. So we hug him and say bye. Say bye to Preeti too. I give him advice too for the future "Bhaai ab tum launde nahi rahe, Dhyaan rakhna is baat ka". I Wonder if he understood the full meaning of this statement.

"Bhaai kal subah tumhaare gaadi bhijwa duun "
"Haan bhaai wo bahut accha rahega"
"Theek hai Suarav ko phone kar dena kal subah"
"Theek hai bhaai, chal bye"

We get back to the hotel, pack our stuff which was lying all around the room and put an alarm for 4 o clock. We have a train at 5 in the morning.

DAY 5 -

We get up at 4. Pack our stuff and get ready to leave.We call Saurav at 4:30.
No answer.
Call him again. And again and again.
We get outside and keep calling him. Still No answer.
Time to get worried !
04:45 in the morning. No creature in sight leave alone a taxi.

"I'm going ahead to look for a taxi" I say.
My stuff is here, I'll get the taxi back" and start walking towards the station which is like 6-7 kms from the hotel.

My phone rings. Its Lion.
"Andy bhaai aap kahaan ho ?"
"Usi raod pe aage. Kyun ?"
"Peeche ek truck dikh raha hai ?"
"Umm.... Haan dikh raha hai"
"Usko hath do, hum usi ma hain"
I start jumping in front of the incoming truck. The truck stops. A man opens one of the door.
"Uh Bhaaisahab ...."
"Haan Andy bhaai yahi hai jaldi chad jao"

Ok so we are sitting in a truck.

Trying to get to the station. We get down, give the guy 100 bucks and say thanks. And start running towards the platform.

Its 5:15 by the time we reach. The train left 5 mins back.

Cool. So what now I am asked.
I suggest we take a Bus to Delhi and catch the connecting train from there as its at 5 in the evening from there. Lion wants to take a taxi. Anmol has no say.
We argue a bit. In the end we decide to take a train to delhi which leaves at 7. Ok.

We buy tickets of general. Pay TT the money to adjust us in AC. We all sleep as soon the train gets moving and I get up just about time when the train is about to to reach Delhi. We get down at Hazrat Nizammudin. Ok how to get to New Delhi station ?

Local train a guy there suggests. Ok . A local train arrives. But the compartment is full'. I rush in with my bag. And I'm literally thrown out of it. As I'm standing out, a hand grabs me and pulls me in the Ladies compartment. I'm half outside and half inside. With somebody pulling me in with my bag. Scenes of a few Hollywood movies flash in front of my eyes. Its Lion and Anmol they got on the ladies compartment. Ok so we are traveling in the Ladies compartment and that too without ticket. Great !

I even have to brush in the waiting room at Delhi station. Lion is getting hungry and impatient. So we head outside and go to Connaught Place. Everything closed. Oh its 26th Jan today. We finally find a Pizza Hut. Get in , eat. With a guy constantly staring at us. Though we didn't do anything to him, or his wife. That guy looks like an ass and his wife is HOT. We wonder why did God made us so Handsome ?

We pay a bill of 700 and head back to the station.

Finally we sit in the train. I realize that we left a packet containing sweets as return gift from Ankur and my phone charger in the earlier train. Very good. We try to set the TT to let Anmol sit with us in A/C. He has a sleeper ticket. But he asks for way too much money. So Anmol plans to chuck it. We eat Dinner and he leaves for his bogie.

Me and Lion chat for sometime. Kota arrives at about 10. I get down, say bye to Lion and leave.

After 15 minutes he calls me "Bhaai apka shaving kit to mere hee pass rah gaya"

Awesome finish to an Awesome trip !

Monday, February 11, 2008

Deharadun trip - 2

Day 3 -

I got up around 6 o clock. I was tired of Mr E kicking me and Gujju pulling my blanket whole night. I got up and went to the other room. Gupta was half asleep in that room. "Aao Andy bhaai, mujhe pata tha thodi daer me koi na koi zaroor aayega". Well ya i was sick of it.

Today was the marriage day.

Cheetah called "Saalon ab uth bhii jaao aur aakar Naashta thuus lo"
"Haan bhaai aa hee rahe hai" Though we were all in bed.
Slowly every was punished by sending to bathe in the chilling weather.
We got ready and reached his house (This time by cars). Ate aaloo paranthas. This time i went easy with them. Was already feeling slight acidity by now (Guess I am getting old. Or as we would say 'Ab hum log launde nahi rahe')

After that Cheetoz said what are your plans now ? We shook our heads. No plan.
Lets go to Mussouri. Someone suggested. Ok. Cheetoz said be back by 3:30. Ok sir.

Anmol also joined us by now. Gupta suggested that we ask the the drivers to come in one car and we'll go in another. So be it.

We reached Mussouri in an hour or so. We'll buy the booze and drink in the car. "No i wanna sit down and booze" I protested. But the guys wanted to check out the chicks. As soon as we got out of the car. Brrr... The wind is freezing. No beyond freezing. Numbing. Will-kill-you-if-u-stay-out for-long-ing. We all wanna get back in the car fast . But these people are determined to booze. And I need a Digene. So i walk off in search of a medical store. See one. Buy a strip of Digene and get back in the car. These people have bought booze, glasses, snacks till now. But as soon we start moving its becomes quite clear to us that its not possible to drink while driving through winding roads of Mussourie. So in the end we find a bar with an awesome view of the valley below. We get in to see that are nobody inside but us and one old bartender (It was 1 o clock in the afternoon). And nothing good in whiskey except Signature. Ok the drinks are made. I get a large and others small as usual. I protest that i don't feel like drinking but no one takes me seriously (Bad effects of being a well known alcohol lover). So i pop in a Digene and CHEERS !

We click a few photographs of us drinking., The valley below. And yes Mr E smoking, as blackmail material. Oh I forgot about the CAMERA.

Yes we bought a CAMERA (hereby referred to as The Camera) , a Sony CyberShot . For 10,000. For our groom to be. As a wedding present. Contri though. But then someone had a brilliant idea that why not use it before gifting it to him. We'll transfer the photos to Gujju's laptop before gifting.

So we click those few photos and as we are downing those drinks suddenly Lion's phone rings. "Saalon kahaan ho tum ? Meri Ghud chadhi hai ! "
"What ?"
"But u said we had to leave for Saharanpur at 3:30"
"No come back now, i'm waiting"

So we rush back to Dehradun. The Ford's driver is driving at a formidable speed. In fact Lions pukes while coming back. Due to Nausea and Motion Sickness.

We arrive and see everyone is vehicles, all set to go. Bunty bhaiya (Ankur's Elder brother) tells us that we have to go to some 'Punjab Hotel' in Saharanpur. And he'll come to the hotel in a few minutes to take us there. We all rush to the hotel to get ready.

We all don our Suits and ties and all . We looking like humans for a change. We get in the cars. All decked up. We all hang up our blazers in Gupta's CR-V. And off we go to Saharanpur to get Cheetoz married. (Bunty bhaiya didn't arrive though to take us, but thats the Walia family for you). After a bit of asking for directions we reach 'Punjab Hotel'. (Whoever said that Men don't ask for directions)

We all ask for Cheetoz . Nobody seems to know. Me and gujju get in the buffet. Though the food is not served we find a guy making Aaloo tikia. We ask him to fix us a plate each. Gupta pokes his head through the tent and asks for a plate for him too. Ok so we give him a plate too. And ask for one more for us too. Then Gupta whispers " Bhaai ye shaayad hamri waali shaadi nahi hai"
"Kya ?"
"Haan bhaai ahmara khaana kahi aur hai . Ye to kisi kee wedding anniversary hai"
"Chal koi baat nahi ab to kha liya"

We in the end catch hold of his driver. "Ankur kahaan hai ?"
"Room no 213 mae "
"Ok we go on the 2nd floor, search for a few minutes only to realize that thsi hotel doesn;t have a 213 or 113 or 013 for that matter. (13 being inauspicious and all).

Some genius starts shouting Ankur Ankur in the corridor. Finally we get a reply from one of the rooms.

We enter the room to see Dulhe Raja getting ready. Full Sherwani and all. We all sit down waiting for him to get ready. He asks us "Bolo ladko kya piyoge" "Tum to kuch pee lo"
"Tu ?"
"Nahi main to kuch nahi"
"Chalo kam se kam shaadi ke din to tu nahi pee raha"
"Haan bhaiya ne mana kiya hai"

Saurav (His younger and real brother) enters with a bottle and asks "Kahaan hai launde lapaade "
"yahi hai bhaai, aaja tu bhi ek aadh peg pee le"
"nahi main nahi, aap log peeyo"

So we all join in for a drink. Ankur refrains from drinking but does smoke. Though he has to hide the cigarette again and again as someone enters. We almost burn the hotel's carpet doing that.

He leaves. Gupta and Gujju run for the loo. They say its the free aaloo tikki we ate. My stomach is ok though, bloody me.

Its about time we got on with his baraat. We join in little later. Waiting for the the family members to clear space for us.

We get on and off a flyover. We see the destination in front of us. Damn it. We are nearly there and we have not even danced for 10 mins. Don't worry his jiju says. We'll manage here only in this place. So ok we start dancing. Yours truly in full josh too. (After he's down a few drinks)
Its around 10 . And we are like 100 meters away. No problem.
"bhaai ye baraat 12 baje se pahle nahi pahuchni chahiye" I tell to Lion.
"Nahi pahuchegi"
He tells the same to Ankur's Jiju.
So we start dancing with renewed vigor.
So they are few revolver shots fired. Few shotgun rounds. Few 100 notes and 500 ones are thrown up in the air. Few sips are taken from a hip flask. Few people get on the chariot and dance, including us (Yes the dude was on a chariot instead of an horse).

Gujju wanted to drink water so he went in a shop to buy water. But apparently the water was not for sale. Gujju throws a 500 note and asks him to keep the change. Wo ! I run in. Relax man. So we but two water bottle and two soda bottle and get 400 change back. We drink some Mc Dowells and it back to dancing again. We even take a dhol in our hands one and start beating it( i wont say playing). Its nearly 11:45 when the baraat finally reaches. That too because he is taken off from the chariot.

We get in the and start eying his 'Saalis'. "Careful" I say, "all are 'Jaats' in this marriage" . "You don't wanna get beaten up".


So after some drama and we getting our photos clicked, we eat food which is fast depleting. Now Gujju wants to leave, so does Mr E. And so does Gupta. Hmmm... Game over. Enough fun and games people gotta attend to there business. Ok. So be it.

These people leave. Me, Lion and Anmol are left behind. We sit for sometime. The cold is getting worse and the effect of liquor is subsiding and I'm tired of all the dancing.

I tell Lion we should go back now. But he doesn't listen. Maybe he thinks Cheetoz won't get married if he is not there. In the end when Ankur's would be saala arrives and tells us "You should rest, the ceremony will take around 3 hours" lion agrees fianally and we g back to Punjab Hotel . We t a room and i sleep. So does lion. We were supposed to be picked up by them whlie returning to Dehradun.

Oh yes i forgot to tell that we lost the camera, sometime while coming back from Mussouri. 10 grands down the drain. Awesome.



to be continued.....



Monday, February 4, 2008

Dehradun Trip - 1

Well my blog is going to sound more and more like a travel log for some time. So be prepared for phrases like ' When i was in ___ recently' or ' On my recent trip to ___ '. Thats b'coz I have been traveling a bit these days. Though not exactly like living out of the suitcase thing.

But hey I have slept in 5 different beds in past 2 weeks. (Not alone , but I won't say I had likable company).

So I'll start with my first trip to Dehradun.

A trip to Dehradun in Jan ?? Are u f***ing kidding me ? Well yes , my genius friend just so happens to get married that time in Dehradun, and well a promise is a promise.

So off to Dehradun. And when it is a trip with these people there has to be some adventure.

So I board the train along with the Kadai chicken that Lion has asked to get for him as he wanted something spicy. I had trimmed my hair and shaved before leaving as i though i was going to Ankur's home. But then i see Lion standing on the platform with a bushy French beard and a Pony tail. Super start to a super trip !

DAY 1 -

We get down on Delhi station at 4 a.m. on one of the coldest days of its history. Temp 1.5 C.
Mr E also joins us shortly.

We board the Dehradun Shatabdi. We eat the breakfast twice in the train. Then Mr E has to go to the loo to unload. As the train is about to pull on Saharanpur station he returns from the loo with some sort of paper with a hand drawn map on it. "We are getting down in Saharanpur" he announces "We will reach faster that way, I'm bored of sitting in the train".

Ok. So we get out of he train on Saharanpur and start hunting for a taxi. Apparently the dudes want to see UP. The adventure begins (we had tickets till Dehradun) . We call Ankur to ascertain where he is. I faintly remember 'Clement town, Turner road' as his address, had filled quite a no of his forms. Lion remembers something about C-21 and Kashi Ram stores (Read Kripa Ram stores). Mr E remembers a green house (though the house was all white as we found out shortly) on the left side.

So we surprise Ankur by reaching his house, that too two hours early. And sit down for the 3rd breakfast.

Then to the hotel to freshen up. Then the soon to be groom to be arrives with a Santro. "Aao laundon tumhe dehradun dikhata huun" (Come on guys I'll show u Dehradun). Ok so we pass in front of IMA, FRI, and a few other places which will be showed to us while coming back.

So we buy a couple of beers and head off to Mussouri road. We find his favorite Maggi point and sit down for Maggi while telling the guy we want a very spicy Maggi. "Ye ladke baahar ke hai" (these guys are outsiders) Ankur says to the maggi guy. While i am sitting there admiring the view in the bitter cold and thinking that I would have never passed if I would have been studying in Dehradun, because I would be sitting whole day long drinking beer at some place like this the other guys realize that they underestimated the Maggi guy. The maggi was too spicy for all of us.
And I think the most expensive clubs and pubs can't give this view and ambiance (If god is not a DJ he atleast a good pub interior designer). Then my phone alarm goes off to remind me that I have to check my SIIB result. So a few calls to few of my idiot friends to check my result.

After finishing or beers we start going up further till the guys with me start shouting "Enough, lets go back". So we are taken to deer park while coming back as soon as we park Cheetoz says "Ab tum log Deer park dekhoge ? " We all shake our head in disapproval. So we are get back to Dehradun city (whatever happened to the things we were supposed to see while coming back ?)

"Bhaai mujhe tie - tui leni hai aur shirt, aur haan jutte bhi" (Brothers I need a tie, a shirt and yes shoes too) Mr Walia remembers while coming back. The genius has his engagement tomorrow and he's buying clothes now. So we get into Planet Fashion. The dude looks for his tie and shirt while we randomly browse stuff. Which is interrupted in every two minutes by either "Bhaai ye kaisi lag rahi hai ?" or "Saalon yahaan mere liye kapde dekhne aaye ho ya apne liye ?". He doesn't like anything so we get out, though I did like one Grey shirt. So we get into one store which seemingly is his family store, all his brothers had bought there ties from there. He keeps asking " Arey jaisi tie Monu (Bunty, Sonu) bhaiya ko dikhaai thee waisi dikhaao na". Thank god he finally likes a tie. Then in search of his shoes. He likes some ugly shoes in first sight, good for us though. We start heading back to the car when he remembers he even has to buy Juutiyan for his wedding day. Lion and me start walking towards the car while Cheetoz and Mr E go back in to hunt for them. A good news while walking back , got a call from SIIB. (I forgot to mention that we had eaten twice again while in the market, once in McDonald's and once in a bakery)

After sometime in the hotel we get back to his house. "Kya piyoge laundon ?" Though we were planning for Bacardi at first but then we settle for VAT 69 (My favorite). And Mr E wants Vodka so cheeetoz says ok.
"Pay piyenge kahaan ?" I ask .
"Yahi" pat comes the reply.
"Abey paagal hai kya ? Yahaan to Uncle Aunty sab hai.
"Dikkat hee nahi hai"
"Par yahan kahaan?"
"Chatt par"
"Abey chatt par thand se marr jayenge !"
"Angeethi laga lenge. Tum load mat lo Andy bhaai." "Aur apne pass Scotch to hai hee garmi ke liye"
I agree.

So on the terrace it is. Four chairs and four glasses, a bottle of VAT 69. Some snacks and bitter cold. A better setting could not be asked for. "Bahut din ho gaye tumhaare saath peeye hue Andy Bhaai" I agree, thinking that might be our last, atleast in the near future. So we start with Mr E getting a glass of Vodka (Read Jungle King) from downstairs. His brothers and one of his brother-in-law keep coming and going. Taking one or two pegs in the process. We take around 2 hours and bottle is still not finished. 3 of us couldn't finish a bottle (counting all his brother as 1 guy). Earlier we 2 might have been enough. "Ab hum log laundein nahi rahe" I couldn't help thinking . This will become our dialog later in the trip along with "Himachali Sabe" (Apple). And yes we eat dinner (our 8th meal in the day). "Lag raha hai kee hum log baraati hai" I mention. And yes Mr E is told he was drinking 'Jungle King'. Off to sleep all of us (All in 1 bed).

DAY 2 -

I get up at 4 o'clock once with severe Nausea, I think I'm about to puke. Its been a long time since I ate or drank so much. I fight back the urge (It'll spoil my record in the past 4 years). So then back to sleep again. These idiots are first to get up, apparently they are in the habit of waking up early. So watch TV till then but stay in bed, even afraid to even put a finger in the water. And through my state of half sleep my blanket is snatched "Ab to uth jao Andy Bhaai". So finally I get out of bed cursing these guys, only to see after that Lion went back to sleep again and Mr E went back to watching TV. I was the first idiot to get ready. And the bravest one to take a bath first.

2.


Again for breakfast to his house. On the way we pass in front of Cheetoz's old school 'Raja Ram
Mohan roy academy'. Which i remember because I had filled that too in his forms. We pass in front of a 'Chaat' shop. And Lion habitually has to stop there to eat 'Puchkas'. It is my idea to walk till his house. Part of my all new 'Get fit/Lose weight program', for which i get sufficiently cursed. Though we did pass along a few apples on the way so in a way i was forgiven, of which one's scooty almost even hit me. "Andy bhaai aap se ladkiyan hee nahi ladkiyon kee gaadi bhi duur nahi rah sakti" Mr E comments. Right.

So after breakfast we convene at the 'Wedding Point'. A sort of Banquet hall owned by the Walia's only. We all wonder that what kind of engagement is this where there is no bride to be.
"Abey yahaan Bhabhi kahaan hai ?"
"Wo nahin aai"
"To sagai kaise hogi'
"Hamare yahaan isi ko sagai bolte hai"
Brilliant. Its a 'Teeka' ceremony by the way. Our dude gets a gold chain, a watch along with a few other goodies. Mr E had earlier asked " Waise ye to bataao kee ladke ka sauda kitne mae tay hua hai ?"
"Teri Sir kee kasam ek rupya nahi le raha hai bhaai".
Ok.
And we also realize that Ankur has no idea whatsoever what are the functions going to be in his wedding. It seems its like a 4 day booze party for the Men in the house.

Gupta also arrives by lunch time. But by that time we had already hogged. So it was him to give Cheetoz company. Despite him being the Groom he has to get up and get everything for himself and others. "Bichaara ye to bahut gareeb type Dulha hai", Gupta remarks.

We have the cocktail party in the party in the night, Cheetoz reminds us. Good, something to look forward to, i think.

By the way Gupta had arrived in his Honda CR-V along with a driver(read Chauffeur) . But thats typical Gupta for you, can't help not showing off. "Bhaai main Malaysia jaa raha huun" He ed while we were talking of something else. "Badhiya hai Guptajee", I reply.

So in the evening we go out to shop. We enter in the same Planet Fashion again. While I start looking for my Grey shirt for the interview these people start looking for something else. Lion looks for Jackets/Blazers. he tries several of them, few look good too but he in the end doesn't buy anything. While i ask for advice about two grey shirts from the guys. 'Naah' is the reply. Why dont you try this , Mr E points for a blazer, shirt, tie which had been put for display. The store guy brings me the shirt. I try it on. "Bahut sahi lag rahi hai bhaai" the crowd reacts. "Bhaai wo tie bhi try karke dekho". Ok i try the tie too. "Arey ultimate lag rahe ho, interview main selection pakka" Ok . Pack them both I tell the guy.

Getting back on the first floor me and Mr E both go in the changing room to try on a shirt. When i get out i see that Mr E had tried the same shirt i did in maroon color and Gupta is holding the same shirt in purple, while i have black on (though i wanted to buy silver, had just tried the black for size). Brilliant ! "Bhaai hai, choice to milgei hee" is the explanation given by Lion. And i wish the thing doesn't go for wives now.

So we buy that shirt. I in silver, Mr E in red and Gupta drops the plan. I pay my share of 4500/- bucks with card and walk out of the store. While coming back Lion is going through the stuff he reads the bill and exclaims "Andy Bhaai aapki Tie 2500 ke hai"
"WHAT ???"
"Haan ye dekho bill 1 shirt so much, 2 shirts so much and 1 tie 2500"
"Abey kya baat kar raha hai" "Theek se dekh, 250 hoga. Kal bhi to Allen Solly kee tie lee thi wo to 300 kee thee"
"Nahi bhaai 2500 hai. Aapki tie shirt se mehngi hai"
WTF !!!
I see the tag - 'Louie Phillipe' - 'Gods and Kings collection' - "Hand made silk ties by master craftsmen..........."
"Lag gaye L*$#"

By the time Gujju also arrives. Straight from Dabaai ! (Dubai). The dude has come from delhi to here in a rented taxi from Hertz. Rich Guy ! Not to mention along with a bottle of 'Jo Daniels' (Jack Daniels for others, but we know each other from along time). A bottle of gold tequila. And a big packet of toblerone.

So we all enter the cocktail party. Surprise. There are tables neatly laid out everywhere with 5 types of snacks on everyone. Bottles. Glasses. Cold drinks, soda, water, the whole works. I hate to say it but I think the cocktail party was the most elaborate and well planned event in the whole marriage.

We are given a separate table inside with a bottle of 100 pipers, Smirnoff, and my favorite VAT 69 ! So we start . Gujju takes out his collections of Cigars. One real cuban. And davidoffs are also offered to everyone. After a few pegs only the guys start losing team. Ankur starts shouting "Bahut pee liya saalon, ab aa jao Dance karne" So say his Jiju from Bangalore. Ok so we all leave our stuff there and get near the DJ (if u can call him that). We start dancing , in full Baraati style. Baccha also arrives by now, and we go and Pick up Moksh baba too.

Back to dancing. Then we realize we need to rest a while and wet our throats. So we go back to ur table to see everything has been taken. Booze, cigarettes, food, Cigars, even the matchbox. Gujju is stunned. " Ha ha ha ... welcome to India gujju" I say. Thank god we smoked the Cuban. Well gujju get his bottle of JD which is again distributed among the crowd there, I am the only lucky one to pour myself a 90 quickly from it. Anyways we get back to dancing . On the beat of the dhol this time.
Mr Ankur's younger bro is also dancing near me, wielding something black black in his hand.
Shit its a pistol ! (German made as i was told later)
Other people see it too , so they run and try to snatch it from his hand.
And yes now the Gun is pointed at me.
"Beta Andy aaj ho gaya tera kaam" "Cheetey kee shaadi mae teri maut bhi likhi thee".
Thank god it was taken from his hand.
Though it was fired outside after an hour or so. And i was given to offer too but i declined. Which i regret now.

Anyways afterwards we return back to the hotel.
"Panchon bhaai ek hee bister mae soyenge"
(Though gupta was more like one and half but u can count Gujju as half only so we were effectively 5 only)
Super !

To be continued.....

ADVICE, LIKE YOUTH, PROBABLY JUST WASTED ON THE YOUNG



Inside every adult lurks a graduation speaker dying to get out, some world-weary pundit eager to pontificate on life to young people who'd rather be Rollerblading. Most of us, alas, will never be invited to sow our words of wisdom among an audience of caps and gowns, but there's no reason we can't entertain ourselves by composing a Guide to Life for Graduates.

I encourage anyone over 2 to try this and thank you for indulging my attempt.

Ladies and gentlemen of the class of '08:

Drink wine

If I could offer you only one tip for the future, Wine would be it. The long-term benefits of drinking wine have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience. I will dispense this advice now.

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Oh, never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they've faded. But trust me, in 5 years, you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked. You are not as fat as you imagine.

Do one thing every day that scares you. The adrenaline is best high and aphrodisiac Nature can offer you.

Sing.

Don't be reckless with other people's hearts. Don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.

Read.

Don't waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The race is long and, in the end, it's only with yourself.

Remember compliments you receive. Forget the insults. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how.

Keep your old love SMS. Delete all the hateful messages from your cell phone.

Remember that no one has control over what happens tomorrow so make the best decision upon the facts you have now but don’t worry about the consequences.

Think.

Enjoy your body. Use it every way you can. Don't be afraid of it or of what other people think of it. It's the greatest instrument you'll ever own.

Dance.

Even if you have nowhere to do it but your bathroom.

Get to know your parents. You never know when they'll be gone for good. And you’ll be surprised to know how less you knew about the person you know from more than 20 years.

Take a trip alone with your dad.

Be nice to your siblings. No matter how much you hate them now. They're your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.

Understand that friends come and go, but with a precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle, because the older you get, the more you need the people who knew you when you were young.

Make friends on not much fun you have, but who lessens your discomfort the most. Honesty among friends is a highly underrated virtue. Look for it.

Don’t smoke.

Remember that picking up a bad habit is easy but kicking it is very difficult. That all habits begin with just once and just once more. Don’t force anyone to quit too. Don’t let anyone force you too.

Live in Bombay once, but leave before it makes you hard. Live in Dehradun once, but leave before it makes you soft.

Travel.

No matter what Jhumpa Lahiri said about traveling by books without moving an inch. Traveling is the best way to know the country you were born in. And the strange people living in it.

Do an MBA, or at least try to do one. You’ll never realize how much there is to know about yourself otherwise.

Go to a good college. Otherwise you’ll never know what the phrases ‘Shining India’ and ‘Fire in the belly’ really mean.

Play.

Learn to play at least one musical instrument. You’ll realize how much music there is inside you.

Advise.

But be careful whose advice you buy, and be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth.

But trust me on the Wine.

-- Anirudh Singh Chauhan
Feb 4, 2008

P.S. Original Idea taken from Mary Scmich's article of the same name. Read it here .