Soliloquy

My hands are heavy, my head is light
Standing here in my hostel’s room
Once reminiscent of the good times, today it exudes gloom
Memories stir, I let out a sigh.
Even I’m so lonesome I could die
It’s so painful that it even makes me rhyme
How does one pack up a life time.

How does one pack up a life time
Old things, few clothes and some stuff that’s not even worth a dime
My helmet my bike, the first ride to college
Weird t-shirt faded jeans and the first date worth remembering
Things too junk to use, too precious to throw
I see an ashtray, few openers and a corkscrew
My glasses, my books some almost as good as new
Shoes I never used, papers I’ll never use again
And cards, gifts and a few cute things from a old sweet heart of mine
Oh please tell me how does pack up a life time.

I'm sure all these THINGS can be packed
But its more than that I’m leaving behind
The Joys, the celebrations, the sorrows, and lamentations
The anger, the hunger, the disgust and too high expectations
The awe, the exhilarations, the comfort and the high laughter
Loving each day, a lot I have seen in this 4 long years
I think I have lived a whole life; maybe enjoying this much was a crime
So it’s not my inherent laziness that stops me
But because these are more than things, it’s a lifetime.

My old clock, that always told me I'm late
My old chair, my clothes rested on it more than me
My old mirror, which always reminded of my weird hair style
My old guitar, can't remember when I last played it but…..
Then I see my t-shirt that says "Just another f*#%ked up day in paradise"
I had my share of fucked up days, alright
And of all fucked up days, today deserves to be the king
But my time here was blissful, and this place a true Paradise
From heaven oh what an anticlimactic demise.
I look around, if I’m forgetting something
Some posters are still on the wall
But then I look at the cassettes

Weird collection one might say

Aerosmith, Dido, Metallica even Boyzone & Slayer
I even look at my obsolete cassette player
These all I think I’ll leave behind
But to a pair less ear ring I think I will be more kind
And at this point I look at the question which for a long time my mind bore
What did I really bring and what am I taking back from this city
Which gave me everything I asked and then some more.

Last 4 years seem to be a blur
Days turning into nights, with nights turning into early morns
With pre exam parties sliding in exams and they barely able to hold up against post exam ones
From intoxication to hangovers and those into getting drunk again
After a happy, a bitter and after each bitter a happy moment comes
But these last few days have really been a fight
Bearing through one day so that you can see the next one's light
Mornings make me want to throw up, days are a drudge
Nights are for drinking, because even after extreme boredom sleep and I hold a grudge
Maybe that’s why I’m leaving for good
Because I can no longer Pantomime
But how does one pack up a lifetime.

One of my friend cries on my last night here, because a friend is leaving
Another cries too, but maybe its just company that he is craving
One grabs me “I won't let you go tomorrow" he's saying
And a message with a sad face tells it’s too bad that I’m leaving
Maybe it’s not them; maybe it’s just the wine
I wonder why the tears have dried in these eyes of mine
And yet the one person I expect didn't even have time for a Good Bye
Standing on her Door step I pondered if I let something beautiful die
But I think I’ve made peace with the vicissitudes, I’m fine
Just tell me how does one pack up a lifetime???