“Aahhhh…. Oh fuck!”
It took a few minutes for the world to come into focus, it still felt like a TV Channel with a bad reception. But Varun wasn’t in his room, and this was not his bed. Where am I, he thought? All wooden interior, expensive furniture, nice bedspreads; this is certainly not a place where he had woken up before. And his head hurt like anything, actually the whole body hurt, and he was thirsty! He needed to drink water.
“Holy Crap!” He exclaimed.
Why am I sleeping naked here on this bed? And where the fuck are my clothes? Whose bed is it anyway and how it I get here. “What happened last night?” All these thoughts rapidly came into his head one after the other.“Oh no, not one of those black outs again, I really shouldn’t have drank that much last night. I was in my senses only last night, at least till Priya showed up. Oh damn, Priya! What happened with her last night? I need to find some clothes right now though. Where are my clothes, can’t find them anywhere? Oh, somebody has kept clean clothes for me out on the side table, wow, nice. So what exactly did happen last night?” He thought again.
There was one way to get some clue. He checked his phone.
Last Dialed #1 – 3555122278055. Whose no is this? And why was I calling it at 3:47 in the night?
Last Dialed #2 – Robbie. Why the hell had I called that Ass?
Last Dialed #3 – Natasha. Why did I call her at 3:23 AM? Even in the day time she never replied to my Hi.
Last Dialed #4 – Sunny.
Last Dialed #5 – Priya. Oh fuck! Please don’t tell me I drunk called her again. Now that she had at least started talking to me again. Our fire had been rekindled. Please god, no!
All the other calls he remembered making.
Received Call #1 – Sunny. He called me back around 3.35 in the night. Maybe he knows something.
He realized he had to get out of there fast. His mom dad will kill him for returning this late. “Oh this is Natasha’s farm house”, he realized as soon as he stepped out of the room, the place where she threw the farewell party for their batch. The whole batch was invited, and she had flown in some hot shot DJ from Mumbai. The place looked much different in the day light, serene, mundane and harmless. It had lost all its enigma of last night. But this place his huge, he thought, you could bury a body here and nobody would know. He looked around to find someone but there was no one; he remembered the huge army of servants who normally take care of this farmhouse were let off yesterday so they couldn’t report back anything back to Natasha’s parents. As he tried to find his way out he saw one guy in a white uniform standing near a Honda Accord, he was obviously a driver, Varun thought of asking him.
“Uhhhh … Bhaiya yahan se waapas Delhi kaise ja sakte hai?
“Aap Varun Saab ho kya?”
“Didi nae bola tha kee aapko ghar ‘back drop’ karna hai, main aapka hee wait kar raha tha kaafi daer se, baithiye”
“Didi … Mere Matlab Natasha nae aapko mereko ghar drop karne ke liye yahan roka hai?”
Haan Saab… Kyun, unhone aapko ‘in from’ nahi kiya tha kya?
“Nahi nahi, kiya tha kiya tha…. ‘in from’ kiya tha mujhe.main bas aise hee puuch raha tha”
Sitting in the Accord he realized that something really weird had happened last night, Natasha never ever even offered him a lift all through the 3 years of college, now she kept a car exclusively for him to get back home, she gave a room to sleep, there were clothes kept neatly folded near his bed side. There has to be some reason behind this VIP treatment, if he could remember only remember last night. The more he tried to think the more his head hurt, he realized it was no use. It was best to ask others. He first decided to message Sunny.
“hey bro wht hppnd last night…. I cant rem a thing…. u clld me arnd 3 in da nite”
“uth gaya kaake? Utri kuch raat kee teri? Beta kal bahut pee li thee tune, aur kaand bhi tune bada hee kiya hai”
“abey kya hua kal rat ko… saaf saaf bata”
“wo tu to priya aur teri baby Natasha se hee puch lena. I am driving dwn to my Pind in my new dzire. C u”
Shit, he thought, this even confused me further instead of solving anything. I think
I need to ask the other 3 people I had called last night.
He messaged Priya first, with a pounding heart. “hey.. how r u … listen I had called u last nite, but I couldn’t hear u properly…. could u tell me again what had u said…. Thanx…”. What had I said to her last night that Sunny told me forget about her, he pondered over?
The driver dropped him back home and it had been already 13 minutes since the message was delivered to Priya and still no reply …. Maybe she was too pissed at him to even reply. He hesitatingly decided to message the other two people he had called last night, Natasha and Robbie.
He sent the first one to Natasha “hey thanx for the ride.. could u plz tell me y I had cld u lst nite… I cant rememeber stuff abt lst nite vry well”. And second one to
Robbie “Hey bro … I saw tht I had cld u lst nite… I was high and I don’t rem what I had said or what happened last night… Could u help me out …” With that he left the hope of finding out what happened last night and thought about how to explain to his parents why he was back home so late and why was he wearing someone else’s clothes.
After being blasted by his mom and threatened with never to be let out of the house again and a million other restrictions he suddenly blurted out he needed a ‘Nimbu Pani’ as he was feeling nauseous, his mom immediately darted into the kitchen grumbling. Moms, he thought, no matter how tough they act with you they can never see their kid in any discomfort. After drinking two glasses of 'Nimbu Pani’ he went into the bathroom to shower. He realized that he smelt funny, there was this faint smell of women’s perfume on him, and he could make out that it wasn’t Priya’s, he had spent the entire college sitting behind her and just filling up his lungs with her scent. But he had this stench on him too. “Whose perfume is this? What the fuck happened last night? I don’t remember puking at least”, he thought to himself again, but now he was having bittersweet feelings about last night, ok he wasn’t with Priya last night but he was at least with some girl.
As he stepped out of the bathroom he saw 2 messages waiting for him. First one was Robbie’s.
“You don’t remember ANYTHING at all from last night? Not even calling then meeting me and talking to me?”
“Nope… Srry bro…. what exactly did I say 2 u …. m srry if I said somethin untoward … “ He decided to add the last line remembering how huge Robbie was and how much he hated his guts.
Second was Natasha. She had asked the exact same thing.
“You don’t rem anything from last night Hun? Not even calling me and what happened?
“Ya … Bt only faintly … I was a lil high… Bein farewell n all… Cud v meet sumwhere 2day..”. He decided to lie after remembering that Sunny had called her ‘teri Natasha baby’. “What was that I did last night”, he asked himself again.
*Beep* *Beep*. Robbie’s reply came “Meet me in the SXB at 5 o’ clock”. SXB was this up market sports bar where rich kids like Robbie hung out, and where Middle Class kids like him always thought about going. Natasha had not replied yet, mentally exhausted and still hung over he decided to lie down again.
It was 4 o’ clock when he got up again, he changed and headed to SXB to meet Robbie and get some answers. Robbie was this 6’2’’ built like a bull Sardar from a village near Ludhiana, whose family owned acres of land and numerous mills and sent all the money here to Robbie to buy Mercs, Johhnie Walker Black Labels and enough gifts for any girl he fancied to date. His real name was Sarabhjeet Singh or something, but everyone called him Robbie, especially after he had cut his hair and died his French beard blonde.
He found Robbie playing snooker and waved him, Robbie asked him to sit down and wait till he finished this frame, his tone was cautious, almost hostile. He looked around; the place was full of people like Robbie and smell of Black label and Chicken Tikka. He was only one not drinking and not wearing an Ed Hardy or Gucci t shirt. Robbie finished his frame and came fast, he was ruthless and surgical with his shots, looked like he had been playing snooker since he was 5. He shook hands and straight away started with the question “to tereko kal raat ka kuch bhi yaad nahi hai?”. Varun shook his head.
“Main tereko mila tha raat ko, tune mujhe phone karke pata nahi kya kya kaha tha!”.
Varun panicked” I’m sorry bhaai, main bahut piya hua tha raat ko, mujhe to yaad bhi nahi tujhe phone kara tha raat ko, mujhe to 2 baje ke baad kee koi memory hee nahi hai”
“Aur subah, subah utha tab kuch yaad nahi aaya?”
“Nahi bhaai, subah utha to dekha kee Natasha ke farm house mae ek room mae tha, kapde bhi nahi pehne hue the, baahar nikla to dekha kee Natasha nae Gaadi chod rakhi thee drop karne ke liye ghar, bas tabhi tum dono ka number last dialed mae dekha to message kiya”
“Bina kapdo ke? Sahi bol? Aur Natasha nae gaddi rakhi thee tere liye? Natasha nae kya bola?”
“Kuch nahi, usne bhi yahi pucha kee raat ka kuch yaad hai ya nahi, uske baad koi reply nahi aaya uska”
“Ha ha ha ha” Robbie gave a throaty laugh and patted him on the back, though his hand felt like a sledgehammer. “Chal koi na, bhaiyon ke beech mae ho jaata hai aisa, koi gal nahin. Daaru piyega?”
At some other time Varun would have given in the temptation of Black Label in a Swanky bar, but right now even the word whisky made him wanna throw up. He thought Robbie wasn’t all that bad a guy, he had misjudged him in college. He hesitatingly asked”Nahi thanks, wo ghar jaana hai abhi waapas, fir kabhi piyenge. Par maine kya kaha tha raat ko, aur mere kapde kahan gaye? Aur main Natasha ke room mae tha, aur usne meri liye gaadi bhi rakhi, meri itni acchi nahin hai us se, mereko kuch samajh mae nahi aa raha”
“Ha ha ha ha” Robbie gave an even booming laugh this time and said “Lo, college ke sabse top item kee le lee, aur yaad tak nahi tujhe. Beta Natasha ke saath soya tha tu kal raat ko, kapde to kya kitne logo to faad diya usne bistar mae. Par tereko like karti hai mujhe lagta hai, subah bhi tereko bhuli nahi.”
“Kya! Abey paagal ho…. I mean, nahi yaar, mujhe nahi lagta, usne 3 saal college mae kabhi baat tak nahi kari mujhse. Fir kal raat ko suddenly? Aur maine raat ko tujhe kyun phone kiya tha?”
“Condom maangne ke liye , tereko Natasha nae hee kaha hoga , usko maluum hai kee mere pe hamesha hote hai. Par kal raat ko sab khatam ho gaye the, to tu bhadak gaya, maa behan kee gaaliyan de dee mujhe! Aur rahi baat suddenly kee, to beta ye daaru cheez he aisi hai, isko pee ke saari Parvati Paris Hilton ban jaati hai, fir Natasha kee kya baat hai. Tereko hamesha like karti thee wo, tune kal raat ko kisi liye phone kara usko aur wo chali aayi. Kitne shot liye kal raat ko? Main to peene ke baad ek hee le pata huun.”
Varun’s face had gone red, part from embarrassment from Robbie’s vivid description, part excitement of sleeping with the most wanted chick in college and part fear that Priya had seen him with Natasha, now he stood no chance with her ever again. He swallowed and looked up to Robbie and said “Pata nahi bhaai, mujhe to kuch bhi yaad nahin hai. Accha main chalta huun, ghar pe bina bataye aaya tha, load aa jayega.”
Robbie got up and said” Chalo koi gal nahin, dono bhaai 2 - 2 peg piyenge kisi din saath baith ke, kuch yaad aaye kal raat kee kahani to mujhe usi waqt phone karna” .
Varun said ok and left. He thought so that explained, the calls, Sunny’s message, the waking up naked, the body pain, the women’s perfume and the sweet behavior of Natasha towards him. His hangover wasn’t any better, he had a headache again and high photosensitivity. He cursed the pharma companies to waste their time researching Cancer and AIDS drugs while there was no cure for a hangover yet. He still wondered about the random number he had called in the night and what was that stench on him. But he didn’t want to think any further, he liked the answers he had got. He could mentally picture Natasha ripping off his clothes in her room. Plus he had slept with Natasha, if that was possible then he was ready to believe in Santa Claus. It was already 7:30 when he got back home. He sneaked back in his room and messaged Sunny.
“Beta kal tere bhaai nae jo kaam kiya hai wo tum 3 saal sirf sochte reh gaye”
After a short while the phone beeped again. Smiling to himself he picked up the phone thinking it was Sunny. “Sunny and the guys are so gonna be jealous of me”, he thought, but it was Natasha.
“Meet me in ‘The Geisha’ at 9 o’ clock”.