Sunday, October 16, 2011

Love and other drugs

Yesterday I felt I was eighteen again. My heart fluttered, I jumped around the bed restlessly, looked at my phone every 5 minutes and to shake my head every 10 minutes to break up the imaginary conversations in my head.

My heart wants this day to be an epoch, my head says it was just good three hours spent. I don't know what It'll be, as I keep as my fingers crossed as a teenager. Now life might play out as usual or it might change but I wanted to write this feeling down. I want to remind myself that I can still feel and despite my growing cynicism I can still connect with another person, with the the romantic in me, and the 18 year happy - go - lucky kid in me, that once was.

Now after reaching for my phone as soon as I woke up, I will listen to the song I have been listening to over 50 times since yesterday morning. I am alcohol free for 15 days and I am still high.

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