Sunday, September 18, 2011

The day that Kotler failed

So it was a bright and sunny Saturday morning. Actually it was little too bright, a little too sunny and I was hungover and tired and sleepy. My phone was conked and the alarm which was supposed to wake me up at 5; never did wake me up at 5. So I woke up at 6:45 panicked and looked at my phone, it was switched off. I switched it on and called the person I was supposed to pick up at 7. It was my friend’s friend, or as my friend (Ashutosh) said; his business partner. So I was supposed to pick her up from K.P.H.B and drop her to ISB where she was going to have her first exhibition for newly founded brand Inky. She was the designer (She is a pass out from NIFT and has been working on designing for years) and my friend, Ashustosh was supposed to take care of ‘The Marketing’. And they were supposed to sell apparel, accessories, jewelry and the whole works. Online for starters I think, they have a portal and all too (See it here, even if just for the hot model).  Anyways I couldn’t care less about all this that morning, every part of my body screamed that it wanted more sleep, except the throat maybe which wanted something to drink. But then I remembered the days when I did used to sleep and Ashu used to give the proxies for me and the Sundays when we were supposed to go to coaching and I used to ask him to go alone and get me bottle of Limca instead. So my mind told me that I needed to do this.

So I got up and called her, her bus was a little late and she would take a little time, and I guessed since Saturday in an off day, there won’t be much traffic on the roads. What I didn’t realize that time a little late was only a little late and she reached 20 mins after calling me, and Saturday is only an off for IT people and there would be plenty of traffic in KPHB. So I got ready in a frenzied state and drove with the intensity of The Transporter on crack. And I was only one and a half hour late. So I picked her up and drove up to ISB. You see ISB has an entrepreneurship course (PEV I suppose it is called) and part of that course the students are supposed to bring an entrepreneur to campus, help them etc. etc… And the team who made the highest profit wins. Again I was least bothered about all that. We went in, met her friend in ISB and set up for the day.

She had brought up Kurtas, Stoles, Potli bags (don’t ask what or what for they are, I didn’t have the slightest clue), Jewelry (which was the highest selling and is what the ‘The Female Purchase Decision Making Model’ is based on) and a few other things. So we set up and got to work. And what followed was something akin to the Great Revelation of Saint John. I realized that my girlfriends had been merciful on me and never subjected me to the full torture which can shopping with girls be.
I was taught in my Marketing class that any purchase decision making model had five steps. One after the other and leading to some conclusion.

However what transpired next was an education is itself. Only a little, if at all, of what Kotler Baba told us was followed when a bunch of people from Venus (read women) descended upon us for buying an ear ring worth 50 bucks. And this is what I named ‘The Female Purchase Decision Making Model’. Which is of course, over simplified and based on the little understanding of these byzantine creatures that we mere mortals (read men) have. Comprehend it if you can -

Click on the file to see the full size

P.S. - Another revelation of the day was, ISB has a lot of hot girls.

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