Tuesday, November 1, 2016

Grow Up

Grow up. Wear formals. Act formal. Be afraid to make a fool of yourself. Cry in bathrooms. Comb your hair. Get a wig if you don’t have them. Don’t dance in weddings. Leave that to the kids. Work even late on your birthday. To make sure nobody suspects it. Don’t eat your cake. Try to just have it. Wear spects to look older. Shave every day. Don’t join the cricket game. Smile for the sidelines. Hope the kids hit the ball towards you. So you can at least throw it back. Don’t take personal calls in office. Say no to reunions to attend meetings. Don’t drink too much. Reprimand others who do. We are not boys anymore.
Give up on that cruiser bike. Get a FD for that money instead. Think of your bank balance every 6 seconds. Go for cheap furniture stores on your weekends. Download MoneyControl app on your phone. Delete Hitman: Sniper to make space for it. Don’t leave home without a plan. Check your hotel has a business center before booking. Pool is secondary. Try to learn Golf even if it bores you. Get a polo shirt. Good speakers are a useless expense. Invest that money into gold. Laugh at boys trying to skateboard. Secretly wish you had tried it too. Curse and shout at youngsters who overtake you. Try to get a look at the bike model quickly too. Cancel your subscription for AutoIndia. Get a Business Today instead. Skip the cartoon section in the newspaper. We are not boys anymore.
Abandon the idea for a Leh trip with your friends. Suggest a resort near your city instead. Grow a French beard to look older. Count the number of grey hairs in the mirror every day. Getting a tattoo is a stupid idea. Or at least keep telling yourself that. Get the ice cream flavor with discount on. Get the good liquor out only when you have guests.  Don’t call your mom when you are sick. Don’t run on the grass. Go to a gym instead. Don’t show anyone that you can cartwheel. Lament the world that is forcing you to grow up. Push the thought of your head to rehearse how you are going to bargain with the property dealer. See the reviews before going to movie and not the star cast. Leave early from the party to maintain your sleep cycle. Scowl at 20 somethings wasting their time. Convince yourself that playing cricket over the weekend was a bad idea. Doesn’t matter how fun it was. Dismiss Valentine ’s Day as a marketing gimmick. Ignore you spent your entire teenage wanting to have someone fir it.Imagine yourself with a trendy haircut. Then try to laugh it off. We are not boys anymore.
Crib about not getting the promotion. Day dream about being a pilot though. Pass by the PS4 even though you finally have the money to buy it. Look at it and want it anyways. Stay indoors on Sunday. Sleep on vacations. . Scoff at Snapchatters. Wonder how to use it when you are alone at home. Look at the new Gizmo section in airplane magazines. Try to push it out by fretting will you find a bus home at this time. Get bitter at the world that is forcing you to grow up on long flights. Get bitter at the group of friends travelling with you them. Convince yourself that they are wasting their father’s money. Know probably your college group is never going to meet in Goa. Think about getting a new credit card to finance it anyways. Scold yourself to jolt yourself back to reality. Reality that consists of EMIs, kid’s tuition fees, long commutes and roads not taken. Resign yourself to it. Try to Grow up and remind yourself that we are not boys anymore.


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