The beauty is not for me

The beauty is not for me;
The perfumed garden is suffocating;
The flute sound makes me sob;
I feel like crying in celebration.


Find me among the debris….
Awake whole night with the wounded bird
..…in company of a dying flower.
…At the funeral of a chopped tree.


I stand behind all the losers
its the nightmares that give peace to my mind;
agonizing death plays a immortal tune for me;
…i wish to take rest among the dead.


They say only the dead have seen the end of suffering
then why is it bad to be dead inside;
Pain feeds and fuels my hunger;
alone is the best company i have.

The fire heals my wounds;
The destroyed lives cause my rebirth;
Poison satisfies my thirst;
This beauty is not for me .


Pretty sad isn't it

Appearances can be decieving

Another Saturday night , another round of drinks , i'm drunk again and here i'm writing another blog. You will think i'm an alcoholic or rather u might say one who enjoys his drink rather frequently , but maybe appearances can be decieving . Hmm which brings to the point are they (is this a spontaneous blog or what ) . Hmmm they say first impressions last forever , bot do they , from my personal experiences i've learned atleast that i'm not a good judge of people coz the people whom i found weird or not my type are one of my best friends annd people whom i fought for and went against the people who said they were not the people to be trusted turned out to be actual backstabbers.

So how can u judge a person, first impressions are not good , appearances can be decieving, people wear masks beneath masks , are sweet talkers ( for example the Mafia never utters a threat, always reasons) they turn out to be different after knowing them for years ( real thought so Happy people committed suicide) plus people change too but...

"We did not change as we grew older; we just became more clearly ourselves. "
Lynn Hall, Where Have All the Tigers Gone?, 1989

Life is complex isn't it . I'm sure it is , although been through it for only 22 years but it is slowly revealing itself to me . The more i see it the more dull and complex it seems and sometimes when i'm even more drunk i ponder over the question " What is the reason of life " Is it to procreate and give more offsprings , or according to relegious scriptures to attain nirvana or to do good for fellow beings or use our chance to be with The One. According to socologists do work for betterment of mankind and leave a better place for the next generation or something like it . But i ask why , if you are gone none of it will matter to you , i don't believe in afterlife or salvation or anything , when you are dead you are gone you are Worm food or ashes . Why should be peers or next generation or anything. Why are we on this planet and making all its natural resources into unusable resources , makin it all a one way change . I don't know , maybe you can tell me . Or can you ....

Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans.

John Lennon (1940 - 1980), "Beautiful Boy"

We go on living , maybe in too much pace to stop and think is it worth it but thats a question for a different day

I am the people--the mob--the crowd--the mass.

Do you know that all the great work of the world is done through me?

I am the workingman, the inventor, the maker of the world's food and

   clothes.

I am the audience that witnesses history. The Napoleons come from me

   and the Lincolns. They die. And then I send forth more Napoleons

   and Lincolns.

I am the seed ground. I am a prairie that will stand for much plowing.

   Terrible storms pass over me. I forget. The best of me is sucked out

   and wasted. I forget. Everything but Death comes to me and makes

   me work and give up what I have. And I forget.

Sometimes I growl, shake myself and spatter a few red drops for history

   to remember. Then--I forget.

When I, the People, learn to remember, when I, the People, use the

   lessons of yesterday and no longer forget who robbed me last year,

   who played me for a fool--then there will be no speaker in all the

   world say the name: "The People," with any fleck of a sneer in his

   voice or any far-off smile of derision.

The mob--the crowd--the mass--will arrive then.

Will we arrive then or ever i cannot say that but i would sure like to see that , not that it contributes much to my answer
but i think maybe thats  a life well spent making it happen .

My thoughts are not coherent (but atlaest spontaneous and natural)
so i'll keep blabbering

But at this point i'm thinking what a load of crap have i have been saying....

But its ok i'm drunk (i'm excused)         ;-)

Momentary lapse of reason

I finally take this moment to write my own blog , I've been trying to write it for quite some time now.

I take this moment to remark upon what does the youth really want , going by polls on NDTV , AAJTAK and the likes maybe they want no laws , easy sex, fast food , pizzas or something like that . But do they ??

Being a 22 yr old maybe i can tell the inside story or maybe not but i'll say it anyway , as a poll on a popular TV news channel 77% of youth has contempt for the law, so why should I go against popular belief. As in this moment i'm knee deep in debt myself all thanks due to boozing and endless partying in this semester ( My use of the word semester makes it pretty clear what do i do ) , Saturday night has to be fun , about partying i mean all the western songs are about it , the western movies too stand united on it . Never mind that your Dad isn't a millionaire you should party anyways , and i would not say that i don't enjoy it.
But is all the propaganda about it because i really like it or because i like it because it has too much propaganda around it , is dancing around brain numbing music while you are pissed drunk the ultimate bliss ?? Can't say myself as I have been doing it too much , so maybe the best judge can be someone else.

One thing fuels the other , something like a chain reaction.

Another real paradox in this world is that all the junk food in this tastes so F%#*ing nice. while whatever is actually good for you tastes like Shit. No wonder we are attracted towards it. I mean who all can say that KFC's burger is far worse than what they get in dinner every tuesday !! Maybe this even beats Einstein's twin paradox, after travelling in time space for 20 years basically all the people reach this conclusion.

And this might seem like the stupidest of all things in this world to discuss but to me they all are worth discussing. Or did i tell you that i am drunk.....

Hic hic... Cheers !! ;-)