Day 3 -
I got up around 6 o clock. I was tired of Mr E kicking me and Gujju pulling my blanket whole night. I got up and went to the other room. Gupta was half asleep in that room. "Aao Andy bhaai, mujhe pata tha thodi daer me koi na koi zaroor aayega". Well ya i was sick of it.
Today was the marriage day.
Cheetah called "Saalon ab uth bhii jaao aur aakar Naashta thuus lo"
"Haan bhaai aa hee rahe hai" Though we were all in bed.
Slowly every was punished by sending to bathe in the chilling weather.
We got ready and reached his house (This time by cars). Ate aaloo paranthas. This time i went easy with them. Was already feeling slight acidity by now (Guess I am getting old. Or as we would say 'Ab hum log launde nahi rahe')
After that Cheetoz said what are your plans now ? We shook our heads. No plan.
Lets go to Mussouri. Someone suggested. Ok. Cheetoz said be back by 3:30. Ok sir.
Anmol also joined us by now. Gupta suggested that we ask the the drivers to come in one car and we'll go in another. So be it.
We reached Mussouri in an hour or so. We'll buy the booze and drink in the car. "No i wanna sit down and booze" I protested. But the guys wanted to check out the chicks. As soon as we got out of the car. Brrr... The wind is freezing. No beyond freezing. Numbing. Will-kill-you-if-u-stay-out for-long-ing. We all wanna get back in the car fast . But these people are determined to booze. And I need a Digene. So i walk off in search of a medical store. See one. Buy a strip of Digene and get back in the car. These people have bought booze, glasses, snacks till now. But as soon we start moving its becomes quite clear to us that its not possible to drink while driving through winding roads of Mussourie. So in the end we find a bar with an awesome view of the valley below. We get in to see that are nobody inside but us and one old bartender (It was 1 o clock in the afternoon). And nothing good in whiskey except Signature. Ok the drinks are made. I get a large and others small as usual. I protest that i don't feel like drinking but no one takes me seriously (Bad effects of being a well known alcohol lover). So i pop in a Digene and CHEERS !
We click a few photographs of us drinking., The valley below. And yes Mr E smoking, as blackmail material. Oh I forgot about the CAMERA.
Yes we bought a CAMERA (hereby referred to as The Camera) , a Sony CyberShot . For 10,000. For our groom to be. As a wedding present. Contri though. But then someone had a brilliant idea that why not use it before gifting it to him. We'll transfer the photos to Gujju's laptop before gifting.
So we click those few photos and as we are downing those drinks suddenly Lion's phone rings. "Saalon kahaan ho tum ? Meri Ghud chadhi hai ! "
"What ?"
"But u said we had to leave for Saharanpur at 3:30"
"No come back now, i'm waiting"
So we rush back to Dehradun. The Ford's driver is driving at a formidable speed. In fact Lions pukes while coming back. Due to Nausea and Motion Sickness.
We arrive and see everyone is vehicles, all set to go. Bunty bhaiya (Ankur's Elder brother) tells us that we have to go to some 'Punjab Hotel' in Saharanpur. And he'll come to the hotel in a few minutes to take us there. We all rush to the hotel to get ready.
We all don our Suits and ties and all . We looking like humans for a change. We get in the cars. All decked up. We all hang up our blazers in Gupta's CR-V. And off we go to Saharanpur to get Cheetoz married. (Bunty bhaiya didn't arrive though to take us, but thats the Walia family for you). After a bit of asking for directions we reach 'Punjab Hotel'. (Whoever said that Men don't ask for directions)
We all ask for Cheetoz . Nobody seems to know. Me and gujju get in the buffet. Though the food is not served we find a guy making Aaloo tikia. We ask him to fix us a plate each. Gupta pokes his head through the tent and asks for a plate for him too. Ok so we give him a plate too. And ask for one more for us too. Then Gupta whispers " Bhaai ye shaayad hamri waali shaadi nahi hai"
"Kya ?"
"Haan bhaai ahmara khaana kahi aur hai . Ye to kisi kee wedding anniversary hai"
"Chal koi baat nahi ab to kha liya"
We in the end catch hold of his driver. "Ankur kahaan hai ?"
"Room no 213 mae "
"Ok we go on the 2nd floor, search for a few minutes only to realize that thsi hotel doesn;t have a 213 or 113 or 013 for that matter. (13 being inauspicious and all).
Some genius starts shouting Ankur Ankur in the corridor. Finally we get a reply from one of the rooms.
We enter the room to see Dulhe Raja getting ready. Full Sherwani and all. We all sit down waiting for him to get ready. He asks us "Bolo ladko kya piyoge" "Tum to kuch pee lo"
"Tu ?"
"Nahi main to kuch nahi"
"Chalo kam se kam shaadi ke din to tu nahi pee raha"
"Haan bhaiya ne mana kiya hai"
Saurav (His younger and real brother) enters with a bottle and asks "Kahaan hai launde lapaade "
"yahi hai bhaai, aaja tu bhi ek aadh peg pee le"
"nahi main nahi, aap log peeyo"
So we all join in for a drink. Ankur refrains from drinking but does smoke. Though he has to hide the cigarette again and again as someone enters. We almost burn the hotel's carpet doing that.
He leaves. Gupta and Gujju run for the loo. They say its the free aaloo tikki we ate. My stomach is ok though, bloody me.
Its about time we got on with his baraat. We join in little later. Waiting for the the family members to clear space for us.
We get on and off a flyover. We see the destination in front of us. Damn it. We are nearly there and we have not even danced for 10 mins. Don't worry his jiju says. We'll manage here only in this place. So ok we start dancing. Yours truly in full josh too. (After he's down a few drinks)
Its around 10 . And we are like 100 meters away. No problem.
"bhaai ye baraat 12 baje se pahle nahi pahuchni chahiye" I tell to Lion.
"Nahi pahuchegi"
He tells the same to Ankur's Jiju.
So we start dancing with renewed vigor.
So they are few revolver shots fired. Few shotgun rounds. Few 100 notes and 500 ones are thrown up in the air. Few sips are taken from a hip flask. Few people get on the chariot and dance, including us (Yes the dude was on a chariot instead of an horse).
Gujju wanted to drink water so he went in a shop to buy water. But apparently the water was not for sale. Gujju throws a 500 note and asks him to keep the change. Wo ! I run in. Relax man. So we but two water bottle and two soda bottle and get 400 change back. We drink some Mc Dowells and it back to dancing again. We even take a dhol in our hands one and start beating it( i wont say playing). Its nearly 11:45 when the baraat finally reaches. That too because he is taken off from the chariot.
We get in the and start eying his 'Saalis'. "Careful" I say, "all are 'Jaats' in this marriage" . "You don't wanna get beaten up".
So after some drama and we getting our photos clicked, we eat food which is fast depleting. Now Gujju wants to leave, so does Mr E. And so does Gupta. Hmmm... Game over. Enough fun and games people gotta attend to there business. Ok. So be it.
These people leave. Me, Lion and Anmol are left behind. We sit for sometime. The cold is getting worse and the effect of liquor is subsiding and I'm tired of all the dancing.
I tell Lion we should go back now. But he doesn't listen. Maybe he thinks Cheetoz won't get married if he is not there. In the end when Ankur's would be saala arrives and tells us "You should rest, the ceremony will take around 3 hours" lion agrees fianally and we g back to Punjab Hotel . We t a room and i sleep. So does lion. We were supposed to be picked up by them whlie returning to Dehradun.
Oh yes i forgot to tell that we lost the camera, sometime while coming back from Mussouri. 10 grands down the drain. Awesome.
to be continued.....
I am actually impressed with the groom lol :P
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