"All business is show business"
You Know You Are taking Your MBA Seriously When...
- You know 50 ways how to say ‘I don’t know’ without saying ‘I don’t know’
- You can say “The organizations needs to re-engineer its business process to focus on its core competencies by using lean manufacturing to leverage its human resources for better consumer focus” and still keep a straight face.
- You can answer all questions with ‘It Depends’
- You have to specify ‘Meeting at 2’ meant 2 in the afternoon or 2 in the night
- You refer to 5 people seated in a circle and screaming at the top of their voices as a ‘Meeting’.
- You don’t know what ‘Ego out of control’ means.
- You think ‘Maggi’ is a perfect meal.
- You can’t imagine doing an MBA before ‘Google’
- Whether given 2 months or 2 days, you still come up with the same quality of work.
- You use abbreviations like POD, COC, EBITDA, ROI as it is common lingo.
- Your laptop is actually your best friend.
- You can quote data like ‘The total no of Malaria Patients in Namibia is 326,987’, ‘The PAT of Pfizer grew from 7.82% to 11.08% this year’ out of thin air.
- You ask the waiter what the restaurant's core competencies are.
- You refer to dating as test marketing.
- You know how to pronounce 'paradigm'.
- You actually know what a paradigm is.
- You write executive summaries on your love letters.
- You think it is actually efficient to write a ten-page paper with six other people you do not know.
- You believe you never have any problems in your life, just 'issues' and 'improvement opportunities’.
- You know Micrsoft Office like the back of your hand.
- You can explain to someone the difference between 'retrenchment', ‘lay off’, ‘down-sizing', 'right-sizing', and 'firing'.
- Telling you mom she hasn’t cooked well is ‘Constructive feedback’ to you
- You start to feel sorry for Dilbert's boss.
- You refer to divorce as 'demerger'.
- You insist that you do some more market research before you and your spouse produce another child.
- You use the term 'value-added' without falling down laughing.
- Marriage is Another "M & A" for you.
- You can give a presentation on a topic without knowing anything about it.
- Having more than one girl/boy friend is just ‘Hedging your Risk’
- Your justification for cheating on your girlfriend is that you were only trying to exploit ‘Economies of Scale’ or ‘Economies of Scope’
After all MBA only stands for Master of Bullshitting Art (yes it is an art)
Or Master of Bakar Accordance
P.S - Few of the points are not written by me and I picked them up while surfing the net. No plaigirism intended. But more than half are purely my own. So its not fully copy paste :-)