Sunday, December 7, 2014

9 reasons you should read this dumb-ass article. Number 9 will blow your mind !

1. Because you are moron who has a attention span of a fruit fly and cannot make your brain process more than 100 words in one sitting

2. Because you think compiling random and plagiarized GIFs is journalism. Then you must be also the person who thinks any click from a DSLR is professional photography and needs to be watermarked.

3. Because you think the world isn't stereotyped enough and it is good to know ‘5 things all Black kids go through’ or ‘the 13 things all Delhi girls do’. And of course every girl from Delhi either a millionaire or a beggar will be doing those things.

Bang! Shortcut to being worldly wise

4. Because you are bored at work and been through all the garrulity that every ‘Wordsmith’ of TOI had to utter and now you are looking for some more ways to kill time. Of course finishing your work and going home early will be such a waste of time.

5. Because the people at Buzzfeed, ScoopWhoop, StoryPick etc. are working so hard to produce 25 articles per day per person. And you want them to gather more advertising revenue and funding to let them have their convertible and yachts fast. Such a rapid production of listicles, plagiarized lists, uncredited pictures and lots & lots of user generated garbage is hard work and must be treated with respect or at least a click.

6. Because you are sucker for clickbaits or maybe you actually believe ‘what this girl did when she was called fat was epic’ is actually epic or maybe ‘This Is Probably The Worst And The Funniest Video In The World. I Can’t Stop Laughing’ is actually the funniest video in the world or you actually know someone who saved money by ‘Why using shortcut keys can save you hundreds of dollars a day’

7. Or perhaps you think that ’11 Political Lessons We Learned From “Gilmore Girls’ or ‘18 Things To Scream At A Cow’ is actually things you should know; or perhaps you did not know you hated makeup till you read ’ 18 Signs That You Hate Wearing Make Up’

8. Because you do not think that this kind of journalism is cancer to the internet it survives on. This is journalism fast food, good to look at and easy to prepare but un-nutritious and bad for you in the long run. It is in the same form a burger loaded with salt which makes you thirsty and then you sell a coke with it; similarly it gives you a bite size information which does not provide you any knowledge and then a link to another non sense article which you feel might satisfy that craving. Written word was always valued and books were touched to the forehead as they contained ‘Vidhya’; this kind of journalism (if you can even call it that) goes on to destroy that value that we had placed on it. Now Facebook and Twitter have nearly becomes a way to share links which have images sourced from PinInterest which were actually taken from Tumblr, about time we weeded this out.

9. Oh there is no number nine, just that having an odd number as the cardinal number gives the impression that you had something to say rather than shoehorning some random text in into a list, but of course the link to share this article is below

1 comment:

  1. lol...really funny man... this 5 things 8 things shit is all over net may be torrentz site fb firstpost toi blah blah... gud catch andy


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